Jan 04? Already?

I feel as if I should be getting ready to go celebrate New Year’s eve with my daughter * shakes head* So in the first four days of 2012~ I have been sick with a high fever, my leg still hurts and it seems as if everyone has hit it daily *ouch. I started cleaning off my desk but have stalled due to tiredness and inability to breathe. I am trying once again to take a photo a day, I really want a photo book of our lives, even though I know I will only do it once…..I’m having a rough time with my kids growing up. I found a photo of the Peanut who was not even 4 yet and wanted to cry…..for the missed time with all of the kids, for not always being the most patient mom, for having to be gone so much, for all the things that keep me so busy every damn day!!!!!

I know that I’m doing what the Lord wants by going to school, there is no doubt about that but I never realized just how hard it would be on me, the kids seem to be ok. Although I can’t tell you how many days I’ve cried on the way to UA. I truly believe that I must finish my degree(s) I will be the first person in my family to ever get a BA and that is one big accomplishment, setting I hope an example for not only my younger children but also my older ones that it is never to late to turn your life around and get a degree. Plus, I know that the Lord has plans for me for when my babies are grown and gone, He knows that I would fall apart quickly into depression were it not for having a life apart from being a mother.

I’m almost done planning the kids school from next Monday, Jan. 09. until my Spring break, we are hoping to go to Fl to visit Jasmine and Matthew in Sarasota. I’m praying that it happens and that we have a safe trip and no problems.

I still have no clear cut goals for this year other than:

1. eating better and trying to save money on groceries
2. finding time to exercise, I always feel so much better than but it is hard to keep up
3. trying to cut back on my computer time but that is hard when one is on it for school so much of the time it becomes a habit
4. family game night, and trying to not let my mood affect my interactions with my children : and that is hard, many days I’m in pain, exhausted or sick.
5. trying to remember to live in the moment I’m in, not the sad past or the uncertain future while still acknowledging my past that helped shape me and get ready for my future…..the supreme balancing act
6. I have to get good grades this semester while preparing for the GRE, I want to score at least 1200 or higher on the exam….it will help me get into grad school
7. I have to narrow done my grad school list, so far the leader is Ohio University and I’m praying that the Lord sends us there.
8. I want to try to spend a bit more time with the Princess, she has no little girls here to play with and is often lonely

Well, I guess this is a good start for the year…..

The Princess will be 9!!!!! on Jan. 16th!!!! Oh my gosh, I’m gonna not survive. Today she said that Ivette the granddaughter her age said that she dresses like a two year old, because I don’t let her wear trendy clothes…..my poor baby. I might take her shopping for a new outfit and see if she likes that idea…..

The Ark only has to make it to the beginning of May to be confirmed, his report from the not liked Pastor, only complained about him needing to do more sermon notes, but if the Pastor would have noticed, the Ark missed 5 sundays due to illness or being away, and two sundays the sermons weren’t posted online for him. Grrrr, but soon it will be over……and I can’t wait.

Which leads me to contemplating getting the Ark and Ace tested for their LD’s so that we have it in writing for them for college….especially with the Ark’s dyslexia, he could apply for his texts to be on cd which is how he learns the best but to get help you must have proof that there is a problem. I won’t be able to put it into action until summer but it needs to be a priority then

Somewhere along the way I need that quiet time with Lord, mornings don’t work for me since I’m rushing to get ready to leave while setting up the kids for school and I’m grouchy then. Night’s don’t work because I’m exhausted~ right now, I load up on Christian music and pray while driving to UA, that seems to work well for me for the moment but would like a bit more, just not sure how……

I also need time to draw or scrapbook or something crafty……I’m at my best when doing those things but again, time is an issue…..oh the stress of being as the Husband puts it “a psychologist artist” apparently i”m very methodical in my artwork and when it is done is a piece of art with a science beginning.

We went to half price books after Christmas and I found a few books for the kids, while snapping up 4 Catherine Coulter books for myself. Two were the FBI series and the others were her Bride series. I love her writing.

We are slowly putting away some of the Christmas stuff but the tree will stay until the Princess birthday per her request~ which works out great since trash day is the next day.

Ok I guess this should keep you all busy reading for a bit.