Today’s post is part lament and part joy!!!! I adore my children and grandchildren and was blessed this summer with the youngest granddaughter! It was hard!!!! I often feel that I am too old to be doing the toddler thing on a daily basis 😉 There were days I was tired, frustrated and wondering if we would all survive the summer. Then there were days where she would curl up next to me and talk and laugh “saying I love you grandma” that made me feel guilty for feeling less than loving! By the end of June I doubted my sanity but then we had a two week break while she went to visit her father and that helped me put everything back into perspective.
Renee drove up Saturday and left yesterday morning and suddenly it was quiet and I was missing the chaos of having a toddler. No sighs of relief, just an overwhelming sadness that part of my family was gone and I would not be seeing my grandbaby for awhile.
Which leads me to the thought of just how will I survive when the Peanut goes off to college? That day somehow doesn’t seem that far away right at this moment! The Ark only has 2 years before he is off to college! Where has that time gone? I know a great deal of it went into raising my children and helping out with my granddaughters. Homeschooling and my college took up another big chunk of time. There is always the cooking/cleaning and laundry to factor in. I just want to stop time for a month or so and cherish this time with my kids! But the teens are rushing to go up and the littles are just happy to play outside and watch a bit of tv……..
So my plans are to start researching and planning a backpacking trip through Europe when the Peanut is off to college and maybe by the time I come back, I will be able to handle the quietness of my home! I’ve always wanted to travel and I travel light, just recall my 10 day trip to Guatemala last summer when I survived with just a carry on!!!! Or perhaps I will just go be a missionary then!
So today, I dragged out of bed and went to the gym, I am a bit more committed to losing a few pounds and getting into better shape if only because I want to have fun with my kids while they are still here and backpacking requires work! I am hoping to make it m-f with an occasional Saturday thrown in. I did my 30 minutes on the Arc Trainer and a bit of ab work! I tend to over do it and then can’t go back for days! So I’m trying to start off slow! I did hit my goal of 4,000 steps today! I’m at 5803 and the day isn’t over yet!!! I also am the proud owner of a fitbit and it is helping to motivate me to be more active! plus it makes life so easy to track steps, since it is on my wrist all day! I don’t have to remember to put it on! Hopefully next week I can raise my goal to 5,000 steps and do okay with it………exercise and I have an on again off again relationship and it sucks! I always feel better when exercising but the time it takes away form my kids or my studies during the school year gives me mega-guilt and then summer is so busy with my kids and swim team/swim lessons. I am hoping to gradually over the next 4 weeks to get up at 6am and hit the gym by 6:30am be home by 8am and start school with the kids then! We will see how it goes.
While we will not start a full school schedule until Aug. 18th, I am making the kids do math every day now! I have the littles working on getting through this years math while Ace is reviewing concepts he is shaky on and the Ark is reviewing concepts for taking the PSAT this October. They are not overly happy about it but they will survive I am sure.
So the dishes were washed and put away, kids fed, a load of laundry, the bathroom sink unclogged and a couple of errands run today. But the best thing? Just when I was about to give up on a school system calling the husband for an interview as a custodian, they called today!!!! He called as soon as we got home but it went to voice mail. I will have him call again in the morning! I am so praying that this is where the Lord is leading us and that he gets the job! It is more $ than he is making now, he can take his pension which will give us a bit of money and if he gets second shift he can keep the church job until we get can pay off the van and get another used car! within a year or two, our financial situation would be so much better! Not to mention that the husband would be sleeping at night instead of trying to sleep in the chaos of our lives. I am trying so hard to leave it in God’s hands but I’m finding it difficult! I have been praying for a solution to our financial situation for awhile and so hoping that this is it!
But now, I must get off here and try to convince myself to sleep tonight so I can get up and to the gym a little earlier than 9:30am!!!!