The Husband and how he handles Childbirth

      So my dear dear friend IrishMum posted the cutest entry on how her husband reacted with childbirth and then graciously asked me how the husband did with our four children. This is an interesting story but I must go back to my memory vault to really think about it. Some of you may know that I was married before had 7 children and then married Tommy, who had no children of his own and had hoped he would marry a woman who would be willing to give him one or two of his own. Since my children were living with their father long tragic story and not to be talked about here I was agreeable to having at least 2 children with the agreement that if they were both boys or both girls we would have a third to try for the opposite gender. You see I really wanted another daughter and was hoping the Lord would be gracious and give me one. 

It didn’t take long for me to get pregnant even at 33! One random fact which some of you know : I only get pregnant in Jan. April and late Aug/early Sept. so all of my 11 children are born in January, June and October. February rolled around and i was pregnant, just two months after we got married. Yeah, I’m sure that the inlaws were thrilled, NOT!!! We waited until April  before telling anyone, even my direct entry midwife. We went for our first prenatal visit in May. The visit was going fine until she looked at me and said my name (which wasn’t Rose btw, I changed my name legally June 15, 2009) and I knew something was up. She had been contacted by a photojournalist who wanted to do a story on Homebirth and the midwife wanted someone she knew would have a great birth and no drama! 

     It was a team of 2: a photographer and a journalist. She gave Gus my name/number and he called me a few days later, we did a lengthy phone interview with him and he decided to use us, I wish I could remember why he chose us and I know it was something that I said to him during the interview but I have no idea now what it was. I think it might have been because I am such a proponent of the mother’s right to choose where she has her baby and how. 

The next few months flew by with getting ready for the birth, educating the husband about home birth, dealing with his naysaying family, who thought I was irresponsible. Finally, I told Tom that I was having the baby at home with or without him and he could be there and a part of it or not – his choice.  He finally got off the fence and decided to join me. He also told his mother that it was my body, I had 4 other children born at home with the same midwife and that we knew what we were doing, that seemed to help. 

     The biggest problem was relaxing enough to go into labor, September 24 (my grandmother’s birthday) arrived and I went into labor but it was 3 weeks before my due date, and I willed my body to stop labor since I was not ready for this yet. In retrospect I wish, I had just relaxed and had him that night, I still miss my grandmother very much and it would have been great to have him share her birthday. It would take almost 2.5 weeks before I would have him. I remember I went to the Pregnancy and Birthing Expo event that day and hung out with my friends, walked around a lot and decided we were doing the cod liver oil cocktail, since we had tried all other means of inducing labor. It always works for me 😉 It only took about 45 minutes and I was in a steady labor pattern. I waited a little longer before calling the midwife and my friend Diane would be video taping, I don’t remember when we decided to call Gus and Karen, but we got them all there about 12:30am. It was a beautiful birth, I posted the article for you to read. 

Battle Over Birthing

Noah's Birth 1-3

I was telling him that this wasn’t fun

 

Noah's Birth 1-6

Just hanging out afterwards, but everyone made fun of me because it took forever for me to let Tom hold Noah

Noah's Birth 1-7

Weighing the chunky little guy: 8lbs 2 oz.

Noah's Birth 1-8

He was short at 19.5 “

Noah's Birth 1-9

Great Picture of us: Tom whispered “hi mom” my reply was “hi dad”

Some of my favorite memories of his birth are the fact that the Cleveland Indians were in the playoffs for the world series that year and Gus was the photographer, so I was trying to have the baby when he was in town, causing me a bit of distress. Tom was asked to work overtime that night but I had told him “no, I’m having the baby that night”. His boss was not a happy camper, since he did not believe that if I said I was having the baby, I meant it. He was feeling pretty embarrassed when Tom went into work and told him he was taking his vacation right now because I had the baby. I think the most important thing I remember is when Karen told me that when she was editing that other hardened and seasoned journalists came over and saw the pictures and were awed by them, at least one mentioned that they wished they had been able to give that experience to their children. It was humbling to have that effect on people who have become jaded by seeing all the sad/violent things in life.

So that was The Ark’s birth, and the husband did just fine. Although the morning the article broke, Channel 8 was calling every Thomas Eaton in the phonebook looking for us, to interview. We did and that was also fun.

The rest of the births were not as exciting, and the husband did his job being supportive. So I won’t bore you with the details. I hope you have enjoyed this brief look into my past, it was fun to share. 

Rose

 

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7 thoughts on “The Husband and how he handles Childbirth

  1. Amazing story Rose, thanks for sharing! Even then you must have been an inspiration to so many women! What made you want home births to begin with? And did they laws change regarding home births in Ohio?

    • Thank you, and I never thought of it that way before! When I was pregnant with my 4th child the doctor that I had assigned to me was horrible and wanted complete control! I freaked out and called around, found a midwife and had my first home birth, after that I was sold on how women should have the right to choose their births. No they have not changed the laws as of yet but in states where they have, midwives are so regulated that many women can’t have home births because the state deems them a risk. It frustrates me to no end.

      • That is terrible! Things are legal and easy that shouldn’t be, and they are trying to out law something natural!! You are amazing! I thought of a home birth for my first, but was too scared.

      • it is horrible and birth activists are frustrated, but most laws are controlled by money and power, sadly both are had by white men! Thank you, but I just think of myself as being who the Lord made me 😉 It just may not have been right for you and that is okay!!!!

  2. You truly are a remarkable woman. I count myself so blessed to see these snippets of your experience. I had all three of mine in hospital, ( I wasn’t aware home birth was an option, I thought you had them at home if you didn’t have time to get to a hospital!) but all three of mine were delivered by the most fantastic midwives. If I could have my time over…

    • Thank you for your awesome comment! It made me day! Many women are not aware they can have a home birth but at least you had great midwives!!!! That is so important. I think we all wish that we could do something over but we make the choices we do with the knowledge we have at the time. We just need to remember that, so we treat ourselves gently.

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