I have taken my finals and am working on my final draft for my research paper. I have to turn it in on Tuesday. The kids have a chiro visit tomorrow. After which we will be home to do some schoolwork and some cleaning. At some point i need to work on our summer schooling. We are going back to a year round schedule to take some of the stress on all of us. Tomorrow we need to buy our swim passes and register the kids for swim lessons. I am ting a summer class but it is web-based and that is nice to free up my time.
I have finally decided to go through with my name change. I’ve been thinking/talking about doing it for years. My husband went down and filed the paperwork for me on weds. so I have a court date of June 15 in front of a magistrate. At least it is a good reason to go to court!!! I’m very happy and so excited!!! I know many people don’t understand why this is so important to me so I will tell you a story~
Once upon a time a teenager mom was pregnant. The baby was 4 weeks overdue and was induced. This teen really wanted a boy and was going to name him Michael. Well, that boy turned out to be a girl, who was to remain unnamed for 13 days while remaining in the hospital being treated for jaundice. Finally the teen mom decided to just us the feminine version of Michael, with no middle name picked out. Shortly thereafter, the teen mom found out there were 14 other Michelle’s in the nursery at that time.
So this baby Michelle would grow up in a single parent household only to be abused. Told the above story of how she got her name. As well as being told that she had been given up for temporary adoption and lived with parents that loved her only to be taken away and abused. The abuse may have been something to get past but to be forever blamed for messing up that teen mother’s life, when she fought to get me returned to her was/is very wrong.Now all of this might not have been so bad except as a teenager Michelle got pregnant in order to leave the abuse, which was like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. For the next 16 years, she would be abused by her husband’s and continue to be verbally and emotionally abused by her mother.
At 32, she left her current husband, and started a new life. One with a man who would find his way to Christianity and be saved by God. They married, had 4 beautiful children and Michelle eventually went back to college to work towards a degree in psychology. She is still working towards that degree and finally sees light at the end of the tunnel. Next January, she will transfer to a four year college and hopefully be able to graduate in two years.
Michelle remember being 3 years old and hating her name, telling her teen mom that she was changing it when she grew up. So 42 years passes and she realizes that she can change her name. She also realizes that she can be the person that the Lord meant for her to be all along. A person with her own identity, not somebody’s daughter, wife, mother; but her own person. She still has flashbacks of the abuse, and finds it to be painful, but is finally starting to heal. Thanks be to God!!!
So soon that unwanted baby will have a name that she loves and in a couple of years a degree, she has hopes of going to grad school and being a counselor. She dreams of working with other women that have been hurt like herself. Her new name will be Rose Catriona M******. It is fun to be able to pick your own name. There is something incredibly empowering to do something so meaningful even if nobody really understand why or they all think you are crazy.
In case your wondering, yes I know my story was in the third person but it was the only way that I could relate all that pain and sadness and not re-live it too much.
I can say that life is good and the Lord is great!!!