Nov. 30, 2006

lately, I see myself growing and changing once again. It is a bit scary as I’m not quite sure of just who this person really is and where did she come from?

I’m under attack once again by satan and his demons. I’ve had just a horrid week. I’m going to see my Pastor next week. Amazing how quicky satan acts, when threatened. I’m having a slight problem of doubt but I just keep praying and rereading this verse that the Lord gave me yesterday…….

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee, yea I will help thee;yea I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness~ Isaiah 41:10

I so need a break for even just 24 hours……

One of the main issues is that I don’t think my husband has ever asked Jesus to come into his heart. Which means that we can’t work out the problems that satan is throwing our way because there is no place for the holy spirit to work in my husband’s heart. Tommy loves me, I know this but satan is using his family against us, me in particular. satan is also using my husband against me. Tommy is 100% behind my going back to school. But he has over the years through his emotional neglect/ hurt undermined my self worth. I feel that satan is trying to keep me so down in the gutter that I won’t go to school. It is taking a great deal of faith and perserverance on my part to follow through.

I do know however that follow through I must as the Lord has said “go”. So go I will, somewhere though I hope the Lord continues to hold my hand, as I just can’t do this on my own.

ok, enough rambling, I have a letter to write to Pastor Doug about what is going on to give himm before I see him.

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